Day time TV has become a part of my life since I moved to Canada because I've never worked since I got here. Some people would say Day time TV is not worthy of wasting your time on. I disagree. Dr. Phil and Oprah are the people I love to watch - smart, full of natural and acquired wisdom, sensitive observers of the human nature, they inspire me to think, look inside my soul, search for my personal enlightenment, learn to know myself... love myself... become a whole.
My mom told me years ago: "Don't expect people to love you if you don't love yourself. Learn to love who you are, and people will soon follow". In my hardest and lowest moments I was desperately looking for reasons to love myself. But how could I find any, if I didn't really know who I was? I knew what or whom I loved or hate, I knew what made me angry or happy, I knew my tastes in fashion, art and literature... but I didn't know how to raise myself up to what I thought was my potential... I didn't know what was hidden way down there in what was/is my true core.
On today's show Oprah talked about The secret with her guests, and how people can and should live their lives and achieve all that they expect from life. One thing that grabbed my attention was the claim that people should be grateful, relate to the good they do have in their lives with gratitude, concentrate on what they have and not on what they don't, because by doing so - they empower the good things they concentrate on to become even stronger. Nothing new can come into one's life unless they open themselves up to being grateful for what they already have.
Interesting thought... it reminded me of the way my Joe thinks. He doesn't dwell on negative stuff for long. If he realizes it's not in his power to change something or someone, he moves on. He's not like me - chewing and chewing on what bugs me till I'm ready to cut my veins, and still can't let go. He's not like me - looking for what I don't have and feeling deprived at times. Joe lives one moment at the time, happy with what he has most of the time, feels lucky to have what we have today, and rarely feels depressed or sad.
For me, it's a tremendous gift I've found in this husband of mine. From the beginning he loved me the way I was, the way he saw me, the physical me, the spiritual me, the irritating me at times. He doesn't want to change me, but one thing within me disturbs him because he can't understand it: The fact I can't/won't love myself the way I should, the way he believes I deserve to be loved.
So back to The Secret, and what fascinated me the most and put me into some deep thinking. Rhonda Byrne, creator of the DVD The Secret, defines The Secret as the law of attraction, the principle that "like attracts like". That means that whatever happens to us - we attract to ourselves. We attract into our lives the things we want, and that is based on what we're thinking and feeling. We create our own circumstances by the choices we make >>> The choices we make come to life out of our thoughts >>> which generate feelings >>> which attract things into our lives.
So, if we go through negative thoughts, bad feelings arise, and the outcome is attracting negatives into our lives. Regarding our weight, for example (I like that approach a lot), if we feel bad about how we look and what others think about our look, the power to go through a permanent change is not acquired for long, and then we fail. Positive feelings regarding bodily changes, something like : "You're treating your body to health and longevity", will assure success. We have to be grateful for our health and choose to stay healthy and whole. If we do that, we'll attract more health and wholeness every day. And, we have to believe we have the right to have the body we want, and work our way to attract it into our lives.
But... It's not enough to have positive thoughts and feelings. One should act on them. Sitting at home waiting for good stuff to happen just because one thinks about it won't do the trick. One should make decisions to change the past into a better future, and act upon it. Too many people who want to make things better focus on what's wrong with the present. Instead of wanting to change it, they should appreciate what's there. They should find the things about it that work, and by doing that, they create a space for it to get better.
The secret philosophy and action plan has much much more... and part of it sound too "hanging in the air" to my taste, but... the part about us being the ones to shape our lives makes some kind of sense to me, because it seems familiar. I know I thought about it before, though using different wording and reasoning. I've realized not so long ago (with the help of Joe) that when I'm taking the negativity path, all I come up with is depression, despair, and no power to change the situation to the one I desire. I've also realized that me being overweight has a reason which I don't like at all: I'm punishing myself for something, by taking my body and psyche through hell just to make a point I don't understand. I also realized that at one point few months back, I've made a decision to change my attitude towards my life, because I finally realized that some parts of my life need a change, and nobody but me can do anything to make the change happen. I decided to act on it... and even though things are still jumbled in my brain - I think I'm on the right path.
So this new mantra will run in my head from now on on every awakening moment : "You deserve much better. Your body is a temple you're going to work and cherish and walk to health. You deserve to be loved by you. You can do whatever you decide to do to make your life wonderful in all fronts, and you're going to be a great success story!".