Tuesday, January 23, 2007

The first obstacle

It was bound to come... I knew that, just didn't know when, and hoped it'll take a long time. This morning I hopped on the scale just to find out it showed a gain of 1.8 lbs. Deep inside I knew it's going to happen. In the last few days I sensed I wasn't losing any weight. My clothes felt the same, and... yes... I had a nasty binge last night for no obvious reason. It was with healthy food, but still... too many calories went in... too many lbs on the scale this morning.

So, I saw the numbers, and I went ballistically angry. I felt betrayed first, and then all the anger turned towards myself. "It's your own doing, silly girl", I thought. "It's your own doing!!! Now get your fat butt down to the basement ant start emending this annoying situation. Go!!! NOW!!!".

Yeap... when I'm angry, I'm no fun whatsoever. So on the treadmill I went, while feeling my blood boiling in my veins. After 2 minutes warm-up I pushed the incline to 4%, the speed was 2.8 mph, and for the first time I walked with these settings for 19 minutes. Then I switched to 3.1 mph and 0% incline for few minutes of "rest", and then again for the first setting. All in all I walked for 60 minutes (2.85 miles), and 34 of them where on 4% incline and 2.8 mph.

That's what my anger pushed me to do, and I was very pleased. I was human while letting myself stray a bit, and I was human while dealing with my anger. Now I have to learn to be human and forgive myself for my temporary mishaps, move on quickly onto the right direction and continue the effort to change for the better.

After all, there's no doubt in my mind slip-ups like that will happen yet again.

Later: Did another 60 minutes on the treadmill, of which 33 minutes were on 4% incline, 2.8 mph. I'm paying for my sins today, big time. Hopefully, pushing up the level will do the trick. Now I just have to wait and see *s*.

Lorien @ 04:20 pm MT

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