Sunday, June 17, 2007

Chaos...

Mostly inside my head, that is. Things didn't work so smoothly for me since my last weigh-in 10 days ago. I had more break days from workout than I've planned to take, my eating plan was by all means not clean , I've made myself crazy reading about stuff I wanna do to change my routine (C25K, weights training), and all in all - the scale today showed 142.4 lbs, only .2 lbs loss since the last time I checked in... which counts for no loss.

Yes, I should be happy there's no gain because really - I didn't work hard enough for one, so maybe I should just tell myself to get off of the soap opera speech, shut up and look forward for a brighter, greater, more successful tomorrow. Will do that right now since I do have some blessings to count!

First... Today we were taken out for brunch by Joe's daughter and her husband. Father's Day was the occasion, and we had a yummy time in a restaurant we didn't frequent before. And of course, we love to go to a buffet style places, where we can pick and choose what we eat, and how much we shove down our throats. So surprisingly enough, I controlled the amount of food I put in my mouth, and didn't suffer any stomach pains when we left. That was one good thing I could point to myself I've achieved in the last 10 days. I was quite content about that.

Secondly... Another good thing I felt great about today was wearing my new clothes. I finally gave up and picked up some new stuff because, really, I had to. My old stuff is either too big or too old... I desperately needed to buy something new. So the pants are a size 10, the T-shirt is M, and the jacket is M as well. Am I pleased? You bet I am. I felt great looking at myself in the mirror, and I definitely know I'm very close to where I want to be from now till forever. Feels fantastic !!!

So, how do I end this strangely titled post? Chaos was in for a while, and maybe I have to be glad about it, because by learning that slippery slopes can teach, educate and help me move forward (even though I feel I wanna cut my wrists in the process of dealing with them) - I've become closer to my goal: Living healthy, with no regrets, no guilt feelings, and just love it all... and myself as well.

Lorien @ 10:30 pm MT

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