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::: What the hell am I doing????? :::

Everything went so well until a week ago... but since then, I've totally lost it! I'm out of control, gone nuts! Didn't work out for 4 days, eating was more of the preying kind, I'm smoking without counting... I'm so tired of it all, I don't give a shit anymore!

I think the cabin fever totally damaged my brain... I'm walking around the house like a lioness in a cage... ruining every good achievement I've made lately.

I NEED HELP!!!

::: Lorien @ 09:42 PM MT :::

::: What am I doing? :::

Few scattered things today:

I've decided not to keep a public separate page for the "Cut-them-smokes" challenge anymore, since it mostly interests me, so I'll update it privately. We're on phase 3 right now = 8 cigis per day. Some days it goes very well... others - not so well, but all in all we're still doing it, with hopes to get rid of this shit at one point in the nearest future. I'll throw updates here from time to time.

My blessed incentive to get rid of more lbs faded away, since Joe's son and his bride to be decided to have the wedding sometime in June. They'd like to have it outdoors, so there's no rush right now.

In a way I'm sorry about that (the incentive gave me a real excellent boost), but we all agree they don't need to rush things... After all, they're so young!

Sssooo... I'll have to find me a new incentive... Oh yea! I have it! Since the wedding will take place in summer, I'll be able to wear this black silk dress, which I designed and sewed (is that the right spelling?) 14 years ago, when I had only 132 lbs (60 kg) to carry around. And I only wore it ones!

I love this dress, and I still remember (14 years later) how beautiful and special it made me feel that one night I wore it. It was the Bar Mitzvah ceremony of my cousin's son (A Jewish special birthday party given to boys when they hit 13). I noticed that people were turning their heads to look at me going by, and I felt on cloud 9 that night!

So ok... This will be my new incentive, and I'm sure I can do it, because I tried this dress few months back when I was 150 lbs, and found out I needed only few more lbs to lose in order to wear it.

Yeap, it'll work just fine for me! *s*...

After working out 8 days in a row, I took the day off yesterday, and I'm going to do it again today. My body needs the rest, and I think I won the right to rest, right? *s*... Damn right!!! So no gym today as well, and tomorrow... mmm... It's Joe's birthday tomorrow, and he's taking the day off... so maybe he'll come with me to the gym? Yea, let's try that.

You know what? The other day he came with me as well, and I asked him to stand beside me while working on the machines, and cheer me up. And he did just that: "You can do it! Push!!! Pull!!! One more!!! Yes!!!". Boy, it was so helpful, and I really worked hard that day. I need him there every day, so how am I going to convince him to come with me every day!!! Tough mission!

Okee dokee, that's all for today. I'm going to clean the main floor now. We're going to have Joe's kids here tomorrow, so it has to look nice around here *s*.

::: Lorien @ 03:45 PM MT :::

::: Weigh-in day :::

It was about time I weighed myself. So yesterday, I was 157.1 lbs (71.4 kg). That's a loss of 2.4 lbs since the beginning of January, but actually I lost most of it in the last few days. I'm most content! Finally, most of the gain from the holidays is gone, and now I have to tackle the gain from my trip to Israel. So much to do, so much to do! *s*.

Moving on... All in all, life is good when I set my mind into winning mode! I should remember how to do it all the time ;-)).

::: Lorien @ 01:54 PM MT :::

::: 1 year at the gym :::

One year ago, today, we started working out at the gym... and what a year it was!!! 2.5 months of it I didn't go to the gym because I was visiting my family abroad + having my brother here in Canada as a guest, but that doesn't mean I didn't workout at all. At that time, I worked out outside. I don't know how many miles I walked or rode the bikes... but there were lots and lots of them.

And each one of them was worth the effort!

I sure feel I accomplished a lot this year, workout wise... And I'm pretty proud of myself today *s*.

::: Lorien @ 05:17 PM MT :::

::: New measurements :::

I've found a treasure!!! I forgot all about it, but all of a sudden it came to my mind that the first time we started at the gym (April 2000), the instructor there took our measurements. We didn't do it ourselves last year when we went back to the gym, and I was kind of curious to know how many inches I lost.

So there it is... I still have the papers, and just asked Joe to measure me. Drum roll, please!!! *s

Boy, it sure makes me happy this morning!!! *s*... And another thing I've found out today. My height... I didn't convert it right. 163 cm are 5' 4 1/4"... and not 5' 5" as I thought before. Oh well *s*...

::: Lorien @ 01:07 PM MT :::

::: :::

::: New incentive :::

There's nothing better than new incentive to boost motivation to lose weight! Even though it's going to sound stupid and shallow (and you'll soon understand why), I've got me a new incentive to boost my weight loss. Joe's oldest son is getting married in 6 weeks. Though a surprise (we were let to believe it'll happen at the end of this year), it's a good surprise, and a great reason to double my efforts to look my best at this happy event.

Now, we all know I'm doing this to become healthier, right? Sure, Right! But then again, who says there's no other reason? ;-). Of course I wanna look the best I can as well. For ones in a very long time I'm so close to the shape of body I've always dreamed about and wanted to own. No... actually, I was slim before, but never firm and nicely developed *s*.

So here's my big chance to finally bring this weight loss/getting healthy journey to it's goal, and move to the maintenance level. No, I'm not going to lose 27.5 lbs in 6 weeks... Hell no way it can happen, and I don't want to, because it's not right! But I sure wish I'd get rid of... let's say... 8 - 10 lbs, maybe? I don't think it'll happen... but I can try *s*.

::: Lorien @ 10:15 AM MT :::

::: Bike riding - Got to get ready :::

Another good workout today, third in a row. Starting today I'm going to add bike ride to my cardio workout, slowly get ready for bike riding outside in summertime. Yea, it's high winter here, and we still have at least 3 months till there's a chance to go bike riding outdoors, but I want to be very ready when the time comes! *s*.

So I added 10 minutes bike ride today, and boy... it sure works on different muscle groups. But, since my legs got pretty strong after all the walking I did on the treadmill lately, I was able to have a good ride on a higher level. Sweet!

And now, off I go to eat dinner... I just wish my eating was as good as my workouts are!

::: Lorien @ 05:50 PM MT :::

::: Feeling much better, thanks :::

My left palm feels much better. No pain anymore, but I decided to let it rest today as well, just to make sure it's completely healed when I start working with it again. I've done my usual 70 minutes on the treadmill + 6 lower body weights machines. I've pushed the weights up 10 lbs on 3 of the machines, and also did 3 sets on 4 of them, so all in all I did 16 sets x 12 reps.

My legs feel it now, but it's not too bad. Water intake was great today, and so far - the food as well. I'm pretty happy with what I've accomplished today! *s*.

::: Lorien @ 05:17 PM MT :::

::: Pain :::

I hurt my left palm yesterday while doing grocery shopping. I tried to hold on to a veggies plastic bag which was getting ready to meet the floor, and my palm turned into a peculiar angle. I puled some part of it in the wrong way, and it hurts now. Darn. It doesn't look swollen, and that's a good thing , I hope, but it seems I won't be able to do much with it for the next few days :-(.

Yuck, it's so annoying! What a way to start the new year. Still, I'm lucky it didn't happen to me so far. Oh well, I think I'll do the cardio on the treadmill, and see what else... probably lower body weights. Will take the pressure from my palm and let it heal... sigh...

Today will be my first workout of the year. Didn't do anything for the last 3 days since TOM is here. Hell, that's a good excuse (maybe) not to do anything cardio wise, but I could've done some dumbbells, no? I guess not.

Ok... New year... Starting over... Everything will be ok in few days :-)).

Update on 02:39 pm:

Just got back from the gym. I did 10 minutes warm-up and cool down + 60 minutes walk on the treadmill = 4.28 miles walked = 710 calories burned. I started with less incline than I'm used to (was afraid to hurt my palm), but it went well so I gradually increased it.

Feels good right now, and I'm ready for my hot shower... and.... aaaa... the scale was nice to me, and showed 1 lb lose. Yeap, today I'm 158.5 lbs, but I'm not changing anything on the side bar yet. Let it hold for few days, and then... we'll see ;-)).

I'm back with a vengeance!!!

::: Lorien @ 10:53 AM MT :::

::: So what did we have this last year? :::

On Monday, January 13, 2003, I wrote on my weblog:

On Friday, January 24, 2003, I wrote:

Around a month later, my doctor took me off of any kind of pills, and since then - I'm keeping my blood pressure down to normal levels with workout, sensible eating, and lots of will power.

So one of my 2003 resolutions was completely achieved, and in a most satisfactory manner. But what about my weight?

Mmm... not much success there. According to the scale at the gym, I'm around 159.5 lbs (72.5 kg) now. Most of the lost of 2003 was gained back in the last 2 months of the year. But... and that's an important but... I've been working out for the last 11 months, and I'm sure I've transformed few fat lbs to muscle lbs. So, not all is bad, right? *s*.

My biggest resolution (and hubby's too) for 2004 is stop smoking. I'm working on it since December 8, 2003, and right now I'm smoking 9 cigis per day. Hopefully, we'll totally stop smoking around the end of March 2004. I'm well aware that the whole diet thing will get even more slow now, so I'm going to have a plan I can work on, and not fail.

I'm going to work for a lose of 1 lbs every week. That means I'm hoping to hit goal in around 28 weeks from now. Let's say, by the end of July 2004, I'm hoping to be around 132 lbs. That will be 2 years and 5 months since the beginning of my journey!

That's it for now. Enough resolutions to give me a job and a half, don't you say? *s*. I wish you all a wonderful new year... and lots of success with your resolutions. I sure hope you'll be able to achieve yours, and I'll be able to achieve mine.

::: Lorien @ 12:11 AM MT :::